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I've responded to these smart young Femmes (good for you for following your guts) insuring them that yes they are Femme and no those sites are not true representations of Butch/Femme.
Given the dangers and misinformation that's perpetuated in these spaces, I feel it important to post something summing up what these "BF" sites are truly about.
These sites are filled with more or less the same people, some of which recycle themselves from site to site usually after getting "banned".
I'll give you a reasonable breakdown and description of each group that is currently occupying these purported Butch/Femme spaces in no particular order.
As a group, after transition these women utilize their new found "male" privilege to remain in lesbian spaces so they can reach some imaginary hierarchy over the Butch women they so envied, believing they can both "out butch" Butches through drugs and cosmetic mutilation (and male pattern baldness) and have a greater chance at dating the single Femmes there.
The use of this term (and it is a term, NOT an identity) illustrates perfectly the backwardness BF spaces hold.In short, it is no exaggeration when I say all Butch/Femme internet sites/forums are cesspools for misogyny/dysfunction and lezbophobia.Even when it has become impossible to hide the misogyny and dysfunction, such as domestic violence and even the murder of members by females who have transitioned, the victims are dismissed and the trans females or male ID'd members are protected/coddled.I recently had several young Femmes email me asking about the accuracy of the butch/femme.coms/nets/orgs/planets/UKs etc.What was largely taking place there in the form of trans females, female fetishizers, "male ID butches", "stone butch/queerfemme" all felt wrong causing them to wonder were they in fact even Femme!