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Download (April 2015 servicing stack update): For the record, here are the steps that fix my problem (32-bit Windows7 SR1) that stuck at "Checking for updates" or "Preparing to install".
Once booted install KB-3138612, if reboot is required do so and stay disconnected from internet.
After following both procedures (on a virtualbox I reset back to the same snapshot) I still had the hung update search. I have no idea what update got everything sorted out but using this sledge hammer I was able to get a bunch downloaded and installed.
Then did a normal windows update and it had another ~30 and I was all up to date again :)If you're on Windows 8.1 and looking for a solution, this worked for me: overclockers.com/forums/showthread.php/…
Reboot Windows whenever asked by the installed [email protected] Diniz for me they work.
you can also search for them here: catalog.update.microsoft.com/Search.aspx? Change the KBXXXXXX to the real KB number like catalog.update.microsoft.com/Search.aspx?